Skip to main content

¬Quick Post…

I woke up today at 5 o'clock and scrolled through Instagram, checked Reddit, my email, read through a script one of my friends wrote for fun, and read a bit of a book while thinking through my day. Early morning is the time for thought, not action, the world doesn't move at 5 am, and so my usually-anxious mind makes the rest of things move at its pace––that makes it the ideal 'me-time'. Imagine living with NO expectations for you to do anything whatsoever, that's what 5 am is; you learn about yourself at 5 am.

Side note, I'm also a hypocrite. I've been reading The Maze Runner series because I missed that bus in high school. But I read the first book in two days and stayed up to finish it, buying the second one on my Kindle at 3am a few days ago because some things feel more important in the moment than habit building––we can be habitual and impulsive, but a lack of sleep and the convenience of Amazon will influence that balance. Anyway, I'm half-way through Scorch Trials and it's so different from the first book that I can't tell if I like it more or less, but I've lost sleep to this. Don't be like me, go to bed and promise yourself you'll do what you want when you wake up. Night time is not me-time, fuck night and go to bed early.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

self

I have had to reconsider a lot over the past few years and i've come to terms with the fact that I don't really like myself. A lot of people struggle to love themselves and that fact almost feels insulting because somewhere in my head I've rationalized that I self-hate to protect other people. I'm sure that feeling self-righteous in self-hatred is essentially the neurotic narcissists Nutcracker ballet. I've spent a lot of time trying to end that show, but the show must go on and on, and there's always an encore, a Q&A with the director after the show, and a show every night.

I have noticed though that when I look inside myself things turn to chaos. I fixate on my emotions and I get sucked up into them, because that's all vacuums do, and that's all emotions are; so I've determined that your self concept, in terms of emotions, doesn't matter at all if you can learn to think with your actions. I've been panicky for the past few days, I'…

The Identity Caste System

For a lot of the media it's concerning that the only gay millennial running for president is under-supported by his own demographic, and instead the ~gay millennials~ like me overwhelmingly support a white-haired boomer and they don't get it. I would say that, "Bernie's an okay boomer!" For most of America it doesn't matter the identity that you're born into, if you're gay or straight, black or  white, millennial or boomer, you don't have to be trapped by that and don't have to vote by that and that's the way most people want the world to work--except the DNC! The DNC wants identity to matter and are forcing that on voters in various ways.

In the Iowa caucus, after months of candidates campaigning based on the rules decided after the last election, they changed the rules only weeks before the caucus so that the votes are calculated giving diminishing power to the voters in college-towns--that demographic where Bernie Sanders performs notor…

Dopamine (I have a final due in a few hours)

this is just going to be word vomit, I've not been sleeping well and so not confident this thought will be coherent.

I fell asleep around 1 this morning and woke up now, it's currently almost 7 am and blizzarding outside--maybe I'll post a picture.

This weekend storm was made out to be the storm of the decade by numbers. All week my neighbors have been preparing, my exams were this week until a few monday exams were cancelled in anticipation, possibly tuesday exams as well--we'll see. So with this bustle and ferver (or maybe a 'colder' word?) in mind I pictured this storm with all of the accoutrements Stephen King has installed in my memory; Blustery wet snow, high winds, ice, no visibility, rabid dogs--a quintessential winter wonderland. But none of that, just quiet, light powder, I was ready for the apocalypse and I feel like I'm in a damn snow globe.

That in mind I should have slept like a swaddled baby, but the lord works in mysterious ways, I woke up b…